Effective Parenting

— Manohar

“Chandru is a born genius you see. He unravels the puzzles in a jiffy. Give him any gizmo he is at it mastering all its functions “. “Music comes naturally to Meenu. The swaras, alaps in higher octaves is a treat to hear”. “You must see it, to believe it. My second son Raju , has gone one up than his brother Bharath in cricket. He is going to be the future “Sachin” for India”. These are often heard idle boasts of ideal parents. The more we hear, the more we detest. You can’t blame them. In their enthusiasm to provide everything to their children they go overboard. This is very pronounced amongst the middle and upper class of the urban populace. The children cannot fool around. They are into structured entertainment. Sometimes it goes like this:

• If it’s Monday, it must be music,
• If it’s Tuesday, it should be tennis,
• If it’s Wednesday, it is the computer class.
• If it’s Thursday, they must be swimming.
• If it‘s Friday, it is the German class.

If you thought they are free during the weekends, you are wrong. They are into specialized tuitions to cope up with the curriculum. So much so, the children breathe easy only on a bandh day or on a solar eclipse!!

The lot of the parents is also pathetic. (Self imposed rigor!!) ‘They leave no stone unturned ‘. They drop their wards meticulously and pick them up religiously. Often times, the child is so confused, that he or she goes through the motions without mind or liking.

‘Cometh the summer, cometh the camps’. There are camps for everything. From cricket to chess; camp for arts, crafts, painting etc. There are even ‘concentration camps” (not the Nazi!!), to better the memory and retentively.

In this endeavor, talents, latent or apparent, are “supposed “to be tapped and developed. The parents want their wards to outperform and outshine others at every outing. If they fail, they are dejected. More, angry and depressed. One parent went to the extent of slapping his son in full view of the audience, when he lost a match. Ridiculous! Outrageous! It is time the parents realize the reality and put an end to this nonsense. The children have the right to live and enjoy their childhood. No parent has the right to push their children to the limits and expect result. They should stop being` helicopter parents’, hovering around them all the time.

Otherwise, what they seem to think as effective parenting will be defective parenting.

About the Author
Manohar is a free lance writer and authored several humorous articles. Any smallest situation/incident spurs him to develop on it. He has contributed to The Hindu "open page" and Young World.

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